The Best Day

It has taken me three months to get my head wrapped around April 6th, 2019. My wedding day. I knew that I would one day write something up about it and the events leading up to it.... I just wasn't sure how long it would take me to gather my thoughts. They are finally starting to feel gathered.

Let's rewind a little bit. Exactly a year ago Clark proposed to me on the Blue Ridge Parkway on a surprisingly cool July night. I've honestly never been one of those girls who has had her wedding planned out since she was 7 years old. All I had ever envisioned for my wedding day was that it would be in October and it would be outside. That was pretty much the extent of my planning. I remember the night that we got engaged I told Clark we had to nail down a date within the next two days. We had already been talking about it before he had even popped the question. I am type A, B, C and D, as my dad likes to say, and had to have some semblance of a plan in place before I even had a ring on my finger. My poor mom had only a few short months to help Katy plan out her wedding and she always joked that it about killed her (there's a lot of irony in that, looking back at it now). She told me that I had to give her at least 6 months to plan mine out. I wanted to honor my mom's request, but I also wanted to marry Clark. We talked about October, but there were some conflicts with that month so my dream of an October wedding was kaput... we the talked about November, but my parents were going to Israel for two weeks during that month, so that wouldn't work. We finally decided on April. 9 months away. I cried over how long we had to wait. We wanted to get married, like now. We strongly considered eloping more than one time. I had numerous meltdowns over how long we had to wait. Clark never shed tears over it, like me, but he wasn't happy about it either.

The bright side was that we at least had a while to plan. Mom was happy about that. So, April. The most unpredictable month when it comes to weather. I remember dad saying that it could 80 and sunny or 40 and snowy. Great. I was still set on an outdoor wedding so we just decided that we would have to pray that God would make the weather cooperate. 

The venue... My mom and dad have known the Fussell family for a while now and they have gone to MPBC for years. I had been following their Instagram and Facebook pages since they turned their farm into a wedding venue and I was obsessed with every picture that was posted. I always had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to get married there. I had looked at other venues and had joked with mom and dad about getting married on the front lawn at the Biltmore House for the low low price of $35,000. Fussell Farm just seemed right. I loved that it was a ten minute drive from my house and was tucked away right off of a curvy road at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The venue truly made me feel like I was "at home". I had already seen the farm, but we took Clark out to see it last July and he loved it as much as I did. From the BEAUTIFUL bridal suite and groom suite to the sound of the Reddies River running right through the backside of the venue spot, it was like a fairy tale. I have always loved the look of rustic/elegance and those two words are the epitome of Fussell Farm. The Fussells were wonderful to work with and it was the perfect place for our day. 

Photography... Jill Woodie from Waterhouse Studios did an AMAZING job. I have received so many compliments on the engagements pictures, bridal portraits and wedding pictures. I have had people that I have never even met stop me in Chick-Fil-A, Walmart and Belk to tell me how much they loved my wedding pictures. They couldn't have turned out any better, in my opinion. Jill and the team at Waterhouse are unbelievably talented and so fun and easy to work with. The day we took my bridal portraits it was 40 degrees and raining. I was so unbelievably cold and miserable, but Jill did a great job capturing the pictures quickly so that I wouldn't have to suffer long. She also kept me laughing the whole time. If you know me at all then you know that pictures are very important to me. I am ALWAYS taking pictures... even of things that might seem unimportant. I love pictures and captured moments. In my mind, the photographer was the most important part of the wedding. I wanted GOOD pictures. Waterhouse went above and beyond the call of duty. They turned out better than I could've imagined! I was so thrilled with them. 

Florist... April Ellsworth, the owner of "April Flowers" did a phenomenal job with the floral arrangements. I walked in to look at the arrangements on the tables for the reception before the guests started arriving and almost burst into tears when I saw that some of the tables had large cherry blossom arrangements on them. I LOVE cherry blossoms. They are everywhere in China and I always think about China when I see them. As ya'll know, China holds a very special place in my heart. Cherry blossoms also symbolize power, strength and female beauty. All of the tables looked extraordinary, but those tables blew my mind. We hadn't even requested to have cherry blossoms at the wedding, but there they were! They made the day even more special. Also, the bouquets and arrangement on the arbor were TO DIE FOR. Every little detail was perfect. April is a gifted artist.

The dress... A lot of ya'll probably already know this story from my Instagram post, but my dress was purchased at Did Someone Say Party? in Boone, NC. No, it was not a family heirloom from my great-grandmother. Because of the vintage look of the dress I had so many people ask if it was old or was passed down to me. I went dress shopping with my mom, sisters and oldest niece and I didn't really expect to find anything on the first try. I picked out a whole armful of dresses in the shop and started trying on. All of them were stark white dresses except for that one dress. I didn't like it on the hanger and figured that I would hate it when I got it on. The first one I tried on just didn't seem right. I tried on the one with the champagne underlay next because I figured I wouldn't like it and needed to go ahead and get it out of the way. I came out of the dressing room and mom and Katy both had the same look on their face. "That's it. That's the one." mom said. Katy and Clara both agreed with her. I stood up and looked in the three-way mirror and knew that it was the one, as well. It fit me in all of the right places and the top part that was mesh matched my skin-tone perfectly. I loved the three-quarter length bell sleeves and the fitted top and flared bottom. I also loved that it didn't look like your traditional wedding dress and that it wasn't bright white. It suited me. Everyone agreed with that. And I knew that Clark would LOVE it on me (he did). The lady that owned the shop said that she bought the entire 2018 line of dresses just for that one dress. She said many had tried it on, but it never looked quite right on anyone. She said that most of the time their skin tone didn't match up. She said that she had most definitely found her perfect owner after seeing the dress on me. We bought it that day and took it home to sit in my closet for nine months. I'm not going to lie, I unzipped the garment bag and looked at it almost everyday during those nine months. It was my dream dress. 

Bridesmaid dresses... I did a TON of research on bridesmaid dresses. A few people suggested Rent The Runway, but I wanted something that the girls could keep, reuse and think of mine and Clark's wedding every time they saw it. I've kept all of the bridesmaid dresses that I have worn in weddings in the past and love that they are a remnant of a special and beautiful day. Some suggested Amazon, but I had heard horror stories about cheap fabric, zippers breaking the day of and not being able to find the right fit. I happened upon Revelry Bridal on Instagram and I loved that you could order swatch pages and pick your colors and material for the dresses. They also had sooo many beautiful style and color options and endless ways that you could pair them up. I couldn't find any place that had as many color options as Revelry. I knew that I wanted the colors to range from blushes to mauves and they had exactly what I wanted. They were great to work with and the dresses turned out beautifully. They were high quality dresses and there was no worry in the back of my mind about zippers breaking or scratchy fabrics. I'm obsessed with how they looked in the pictures! The colors were exactly what I had envisioned. I highly recommend Revelry!

Food... FOOD. So important. Clark and I love food  and the Brown family is known for never letting people leave a gathering hungry so we put a lot of time, effort and thought into our food selections. We had cheese fries from The Scarlet Hen at FaithFest last year and LOVED them. We heard from many, many people that their food is delicious and catering service is unmatched. We loved the idea of doing a cheese fry food truck and that is The Scarlet Hen's specialty. By the way, cheese fries are Clark's favorite food. We picked out the dinner menu and decided to do the cheese fry truck also. The food and fries were THE BOMB. I had so may people tell me after the fact that they loved the food and fries. Mom and I had kicked around the idea of having the Talia's cart there, but coffee (well, good coffee) is not cheap. My wonderful parents knew how much it would mean to me to have gourmet coffee at my wedding (because coffee is my FAVORITE and Talia's is my VERY FAVORITE) and so they made it happen. Other than the pictures and the daddy/daughter dance, that was the third most talked about thing. My coworkers are still to this day telling me that the coffee cart was the highlight for them. Alaina Grit who is the owner of Alaina's bakery made the delicious cupcakes and the small cake that Clark and I cut. She makes the best red velvet cake ever, hands down. Do not fight me on this. The amazing Chloe Jennings made the small desserts. Key lime tarts, brownie bites and cheesecake bites. They were delectable. 

Music... I am a music person. It's kind of the majority of what my life and makeup consists of so obviously, this was very important to me. I have always planned to have the Hall Sisters play in my wedding and they were so gracious and kind to learn every song that I requested and they did a flawless job. Wow. I heard videos of the songs they played before the ceremony and of course got to hear the songs that were played during the ceremony in person and they were so unbelievably beautiful. The song that was played while the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle is called "By The Seaside" and was from the BBC movie "Emma". It is one of my all time favorite movies and songs. It brought me to tears as I stood at the door of the barn and listened before I walked down the aisle. Natalie, Lydia and Valerie are drop-dead gorgeous and oh so talented. They made our day ten times more special and I can never thank them enough for that. 

Jon-Paul Lacy who owns "DJ Grooves Entertainment" did a great job playing our carefully picked out playlist for the ceremony and reception! He's such a fun guy. 

Videographer... Holy heavens to Betsy. I cried (a good cry) over our wedding video for three days. "Our Story Videography" captured so many moments of our day and left me speechless after watching the final video. I felt like it was so important to get lots of video footage of the day and they did such a great job capturing a variety of things that took place.  There is one part where I am talking with my nieces and I was crying buckets while watching it. So, so, so special. The video is public on my Facebook if you would like to watch it. 

Hair and Makeup... Emily Farmer did all of the hair and let me tell you, she is talented. She did 10 peoples hair in four hours. Emily is my friend, cousin and an amazing woman. She has the ability to put an entire room at ease and do beautiful work. I love that lady so much!!! 

Kristin Lyall and Kristina Brantley did an amazing job on all of the bridesmaids makeup. They all looked stunning and everyones natural beauty was highlighted in the best way... and those eyelashes were poppin'. I'm all about those long eyelashes. ;)

Bryn Nelson worked airbrush magic on my face and I'm still swooning over my eye makeup. She is so talented and sweet and was a pure joy to work with!!!

Director... Kathy Eller has never advertised herself as a wedding coordinator/director, but she was willing to take on the responsibility for my wedding day. Mom and I had looked into hiring a professional wedding director, but couldn’t find anyone that, well to be honest, we trusted enough to handle such big undertaking. Kathy has been a mentor to me throughout my life and has the ability to be firm, but kind. She was in the military for years and is SO organized. She’s majorly gifted in that area. I knew she would do a perfect job. She and mom worked tirelessly together for months on covering every little moment and detail of the day. Kathy is who we have to thank for making the day

go off without a hitch and I am so grateful to her for her willingness to help. She did an amazing job!!! 

Special Moments:

THE WEATHER. I woke up the morning of the wedding after praying for months and months that God would give us sunshine and warmth and it was sunny. White, fluffy clouds dotted the blue sky and the temperature was in the upper 70s. THANK YOU, JESUS. God was so present during the whole day, but just waking up and looking outside to see such a perfect day confirmed in my mind again that He hears us and blesses us. 

Walking down the aisle: My sweet baby Evie got to come down the aisle with me and I couldn't have been happier about that. The pictures make me tear up every time I look at them. She made it halfway down the aisle with her flower girl petals and then realized that everyone was staring at her. She ran back to the back with tears streaming down her face. She ran straight into my arms just as "Make You Feel My Love" began to play. There was no doubt in my mind that Evie was coming down the aisle with Aunt Kandace and Papa. I can't wait for her to hear the story and see the pictures when she's older. We both share the "second child status" and we just get each other. I love my little Evie and the extra special part she played in the wedding ceremony. 

First Dance: I wrote a song about Clark last year and was able to record it for our first dance. Clark had only heard it once and didn't know that it was the song we would be dancing to. It was such an emotional moment and every word of the song is true. I truly married a wonderful, wonderful man who deserves to have a thousand songs written about him. It is on iTunes and Spotify if you would like to listen to it. 

Daddy/Daughter Dance... not going to lie, this was in my top three favorite moments of the day. Around November of last year I didn't really ask.... I told dad that I wanted him to do a little more than a slow dance with me. I have always known that we would dance to "The Way You Look Tonight" because I first heard the song in the movie Father of the Bride and that movie is one of my all time favorites. It never fails to make me cry and want to hug my dad. Also, my dad is George Banks in real life. The song "Dance Like Your Daddy" popped into my head one day while I was listening to my wedding playlist and so I put the two songs together and voila! I had the perfect daddy/daughter dance idea! We worked on it in the living room for months and I made a video for dad to practice along with on his phone. He later informed me that he practiced it in his office at the church every once in a while so that he wouldn't forget it. I love my dad. He gave it his all because he loves his daughter and he always goes above and beyond. He did a great job at the wedding. I am still so proud of him. There's no doubt about it. He's got the moves!!!

Remembering: At one point while I was on the dance floor during the reception I stopped and looked around and all I saw was dear friends and family laughing and having the time of their lives. I remember thinking "don't forget this, Kandace. Don't forget this moment." I never will. It is a core memory and was genuinely one of the happiest moments of my life. 

To conclude, I will say that the months leading up to the wedding, especially after Christmas, were tough ones. I started feeling sick on February 1st and got continually worse throughout the month. I had never felt so sick in my life. It was a sickness that I couldn't describe to anyone. It was deep and it was messing with my mind. I finally, after going to my family doctor twice and getting no answers, went to urgent care and was diagnosed with mono. I laid in bed for a whole week after that and still felt no better. We had just bought our house the week before and there was so much to do to get moved in. One day I stopped by to get our mail that was already being delivered to our house and I was so sick and exhausted that I came inside and laid down on the carpeted floor in our bedroom and slept for two hours. After that day I didn't step foot in our new house again for almost a week and a half. I knew I had to stop pushing myself over my limit. I was starting to feel depressed and it was wearing on me physically and mentally. My hemoglobin level was dangerously low (I already have severe anemia, so that didn't help the cause) and I was later told that I should've been admitted into the hospital. I went back to the doctor after spending that week in the bed and I developed a terrible sore throat. They did a strep test on me and it came back positive. That same day I was supposed to go and see my cousin, Leah, play her last home game in Chapel Hill. I didn't go. I felt so defeated. I remember telling Clark that night that I wondered if I would even make it to the wedding. I finally started to recover and was feeling like I was back up to about 65% by mid March. On March 26th I was standing at the bar in my house and my mom looked at me and my older sister and said "I'm having chest pain. Something's wrong" The look on her face scared me to my core. Dad took her to the hospital and as I'm sure you already know, mom had a heart spasm that mimicked a heart attack. Just a little over a week before the wedding. Satan was attacking my family. Clark said something one day that was so true. He said that Satan was going to do everything in his power to stop our marriage from happening. I was overwhelmed. My wedding didn't even matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was my mom getting better. God gave us the strength to get through the next week. We were all going on little to no sleep. We took it one day at a time and prayed. A lot. He got us through. 

I've been married for over three months now. I live in a quaint, perfectly imperfect, under 1,000 square feet, 100 year old house on Boone Trail. Only a 9 minute drive from my childhood home in Purlear. My best friend walks through the door every night and wraps his arms around me and kisses me. We don't have to say goodbye at night anymore. My mom has recovered and has had no more episodes. My fourth niece was born on May 29th and is growing into the most beautiful chubby-cheeked baby. The new normal is setting in and life is good. Life is very, very good. 

(You can view the full album of wedding pictures on my Facebook page and if you have questions about any of the info above or a question that wasn't answered in this post, please let me know!)