A New Chapter of My Life
Well, here I am doing something that I thought I would never do. I have never been much of a writer, but I have been asked a lot recently by friends from near and far about my plans for the future and how some of the new opportunities in my life have come about so I decided that I would share it in more detail on here. I hope to also use this blog as a way to share about some of the upcoming trips that I will be going on. But for now, here is a little bit about what God has been doing in my life lately.
Recently I have been going through change. Lots and lots of it. I graduated high school just two weeks ago. As every graduate knows, along with graduating always come the questions like, "So what are you going to do with your life now?" or "What college are you going to?" or my favorite, "So are you going to get married now like your sister did?" It has been a bit overwhelming at times. At the beginning of my senior year I didn't really have any idea what I was going to do in the fall after I graduated. I always like to have a plan. I get that from my dad's side of the family. The anxiety of not knowing the answer to so many things was about to drive me crazy. I was all over the place. One minute I thought I wanted to do this or go here and the next minute I wanted to hide in my room and never talk about the future again.
I did know one thing though. I wanted to go places and tell people about Jesus. Not just nearby places, but far away places where people have never even heard the name of Jesus before. Places that are remote and have been left untouched by Americans. After I got back from Ethiopia I didn't think I would ever travel that far away again. It's amazing how God will change a heart so completely. The exact fear and unknown that I felt in Ethiopia was also what I was growing to love. I didn't know it at the time, but God had planted a seed of desire deep in my heart during that trip. A desire to find the most desolate and hopeless of people to tell them that there is a hope and that it is free and it can be theirs.
But (there is always a "but"), traveling takes money, opportunities, and time. At the time I had none of that. My personal funds from the clogging class I taught were small. There were no opportunities for overseas mission trips that didn't cost an arm and a leg in sight, and I was busy with so many different things that trips were out of the question. I was in the throes of trying to decide if I would go to college full time, go to a college that I could drive to every day, or do two years of online classes. I finally decided that I would give the online option a shot. For some reason I really felt that I needed to keep my fall/winter schedule as open as possible and not be tied down to a set college schedule. I still didn't really have confirmation that this was what I was supposed to do and like I said, I DESPISE not having a set in stone plan. God was pressing me hard to trust in Him.
I started doing my first online class in the fall of last year. I still felt like I was stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out if this was God's plan or not. The mission team that went to China in October of 2014 came home from their trip and shared on a Wednesday night with our church. I am not much into crying in front of others, but I cried and cried while they talked that night. My heart ached for those precious children and people in the orphanages. I knew that I had to go on the next trip that they scheduled. It was scheduled for January, 2016. It would've been impossible for me to go had I decided to go to college somewhere. I see, Lord. I see.
About a month after the decision to go to China was set in stone and the payments were being made, dad came home one day and asked me if I was interested in going to the Philippines at the end of October, 2015. And yet again I said; I see, Lord. I see.
All of that doubt for nothing. All of that worry for nothing. Now I won't say that I don't still wonder what I am going to do after I get all of these general education online classes done. I wonder about that almost every day, but for me, my life will not involve getting an acceptance letter or scholarship to some big prestigious college and staying there for four to six years. God has something else in mind for me. I am just trusting in Him to show me little by little what He wants.
So I will just keep on doing my online classes, teaching violin and clogging lessons, and planning for these upcoming trips. I am praying that the Lord will put even more mission opportunities in my pathway, but I am open to whatever it is He wants.
The story of Joseph has been popping up in my life a lot recently. After I heard it being told to me for a sixth time in last month and a half I decided that the Lord might be trying to tell me something through it. I sat down one day and read Joseph's story in the Bible again. I've heard it many, many times, but this time something different stood out to me. Joseph went through a lot of unknown times. God put him in many situations where he had to be faithful even if it seemed like God's plan wasn't working for his good. The thing that stood out the most was Joseph's faithfulness. He never once wavered from the Lord and he ultimately was blessed for that. I love the verse in Genesis 39:21 that says, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison." Even in a prison, God was there with Joseph and His plan was good. It is always good.
Just recently more unknowns have been placed in my life. My heart has been and is being tested and there have been times that I have said "God, would you please just show me exactly what you want for my future??" but I am waiting. And I will wait as long as He wants. I will strive to be like Joseph and hold on to His steadfast love. Every unknown is a test and every test is allowed by God. He knows exactly what He is doing and for that I am so thankful.
~Kandace
Recently I have been going through change. Lots and lots of it. I graduated high school just two weeks ago. As every graduate knows, along with graduating always come the questions like, "So what are you going to do with your life now?" or "What college are you going to?" or my favorite, "So are you going to get married now like your sister did?" It has been a bit overwhelming at times. At the beginning of my senior year I didn't really have any idea what I was going to do in the fall after I graduated. I always like to have a plan. I get that from my dad's side of the family. The anxiety of not knowing the answer to so many things was about to drive me crazy. I was all over the place. One minute I thought I wanted to do this or go here and the next minute I wanted to hide in my room and never talk about the future again.
I did know one thing though. I wanted to go places and tell people about Jesus. Not just nearby places, but far away places where people have never even heard the name of Jesus before. Places that are remote and have been left untouched by Americans. After I got back from Ethiopia I didn't think I would ever travel that far away again. It's amazing how God will change a heart so completely. The exact fear and unknown that I felt in Ethiopia was also what I was growing to love. I didn't know it at the time, but God had planted a seed of desire deep in my heart during that trip. A desire to find the most desolate and hopeless of people to tell them that there is a hope and that it is free and it can be theirs.
But (there is always a "but"), traveling takes money, opportunities, and time. At the time I had none of that. My personal funds from the clogging class I taught were small. There were no opportunities for overseas mission trips that didn't cost an arm and a leg in sight, and I was busy with so many different things that trips were out of the question. I was in the throes of trying to decide if I would go to college full time, go to a college that I could drive to every day, or do two years of online classes. I finally decided that I would give the online option a shot. For some reason I really felt that I needed to keep my fall/winter schedule as open as possible and not be tied down to a set college schedule. I still didn't really have confirmation that this was what I was supposed to do and like I said, I DESPISE not having a set in stone plan. God was pressing me hard to trust in Him.
I started doing my first online class in the fall of last year. I still felt like I was stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out if this was God's plan or not. The mission team that went to China in October of 2014 came home from their trip and shared on a Wednesday night with our church. I am not much into crying in front of others, but I cried and cried while they talked that night. My heart ached for those precious children and people in the orphanages. I knew that I had to go on the next trip that they scheduled. It was scheduled for January, 2016. It would've been impossible for me to go had I decided to go to college somewhere. I see, Lord. I see.
About a month after the decision to go to China was set in stone and the payments were being made, dad came home one day and asked me if I was interested in going to the Philippines at the end of October, 2015. And yet again I said; I see, Lord. I see.
All of that doubt for nothing. All of that worry for nothing. Now I won't say that I don't still wonder what I am going to do after I get all of these general education online classes done. I wonder about that almost every day, but for me, my life will not involve getting an acceptance letter or scholarship to some big prestigious college and staying there for four to six years. God has something else in mind for me. I am just trusting in Him to show me little by little what He wants.
So I will just keep on doing my online classes, teaching violin and clogging lessons, and planning for these upcoming trips. I am praying that the Lord will put even more mission opportunities in my pathway, but I am open to whatever it is He wants.
The story of Joseph has been popping up in my life a lot recently. After I heard it being told to me for a sixth time in last month and a half I decided that the Lord might be trying to tell me something through it. I sat down one day and read Joseph's story in the Bible again. I've heard it many, many times, but this time something different stood out to me. Joseph went through a lot of unknown times. God put him in many situations where he had to be faithful even if it seemed like God's plan wasn't working for his good. The thing that stood out the most was Joseph's faithfulness. He never once wavered from the Lord and he ultimately was blessed for that. I love the verse in Genesis 39:21 that says, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison." Even in a prison, God was there with Joseph and His plan was good. It is always good.
Just recently more unknowns have been placed in my life. My heart has been and is being tested and there have been times that I have said "God, would you please just show me exactly what you want for my future??" but I am waiting. And I will wait as long as He wants. I will strive to be like Joseph and hold on to His steadfast love. Every unknown is a test and every test is allowed by God. He knows exactly what He is doing and for that I am so thankful.
~Kandace
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