Unknowns

Unknowns. We all have them. We all feel them. Some are bigger or more daunting than others. Some feel like a big black hole that's just waiting to swallow you in fear and doubt. Some are small unknowns that are almost silly to even be worried about. These "unknowns" are what life is made up of. And as someone said to me the other day "The unknowns are what make life interesting."

Unknowns are my thorn in the flesh. I like to have everything planned out, timed out, and worked out. In some ways being this way is a blessing, but in other ways it's a curse. As they say "Your blessing is your curse." Isn't that the truth? This past year has seemed a bit like that big black hole that I mentioned earlier. Sometimes I felt like I was being swallowed up by the anxiety of having to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And the opinions! Oh the opinions of others.... They amaze me. I had one man tell me that I needed to move to China and become an English teacher. I had another lady tell me that I needed to get out and go to a far away college and have a little "college fun." Whatever that is. I've had quite a few people ask me if there was a guy in my life and if there was, who is he and when are we getting married. I'm not kidding. These are real things that I was told/asked. Sometimes they were so preposterous that I was trying to hold in my laughter. 

I have talked to so many girls and guys in my same predicament recently. The pressure is on once you get out of high school or even college. Everyone wants to know what's next and if you don't give a scripted, detailed, and "normal" sounding answer then they will look at you like you're crazy. Not everyone, but most will. 

I can't count how many people around my age have said to me "I really just don't know what I want to do, but my ____ (family, friends, grandparents, teachers,) think I should do this." I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to those people, but the most important voice to listen to is God's. He is the one who knows what is best for you. If you feel like college isn't the route for you then don't do it, but don't just waste your time either. Figure out what it is that He wants you to do with your time and make it happen. If college is the route for you then do it! If you feel like making music or being in the arts is what God wants then do it! If you feel like getting a full time job is God's plan for you then go for it! If you have met someone that you know is who God wants you to be with then get the ball rolling and go for it! Don't let the opinions of anyone deter you from what the Lord wants. That has been my new motto. Do what He wants, not what everyone else wants. BUT you have to make sure that it is from God and not from your own desires and wants. There is a fine line between what you think you want and what God wants for you. You have to be careful not to confuse the two. 

If you are at a place in your life right now where you just don't know then give it up to God. I have had to do that recently. My heart has been hoping for something and I have had to surrender it to Him. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I might have to wait for months or even years before I know if this is what He wants, but if waiting in the unknown is what He has planned for me then it is good. I am starting to appreciate these unknowns because being in the middle of them is helping me grow closer in my walk with Him. Everyday I have to say "I trust you, Lord." and some days it is hard to be happy with the uncertainty of things, but I know that I'm getting stronger in Him and if that is soley what unknowns are for then they are worth it. Whether you're waiting for a test result or heading off to college or embarking on your own adventure just keep being strong and having faith. It will all be worth it in the end. :) 

5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9

~Kandace